we never woke up
tired that isn’t sleep tired
why don’t we have a word for this
you lie down and it’s still loud
not the room
the other thing
(? what do i call it)
we stopped pressing
used to press at it in the dark
now we just scroll
same gesture? no
not the same
scrolling is reaching but not for that
for what tho
distraction
understanding needs quiet
quiet needs courage
courage is admitting you don’t know
fuck that’s hard
we’re all unfinished
world’s unfinished too
being alive isn’t a problem to solve
it’s a question
and we dropped it cause it was heavy
but heavy isn’t bad?
heavy can be holy?
sounds dumb when i write it out
we forgot how to want
or got embarrassed
need is weak
weak is cringe
cringe is worse than alone now
look at us
clean apartment, nothing
better to act fine than be seen wanting
cause wanting is human
and nobody wants that
post and hide
share and disappear
built these fake selves from 2 sec clips
then feel fake
shocking
likes feel empty cause they are
mixed up being seen with being close
audience ≠ the person
pushed the person away cause needing them is dangerous
loving someone that much is scary
it moves the furniture
(is that line good or dumb)
five frames video
kid laughing then not
you know the one
that’s the face
the one you make alone
nobody posts that
but that’s the one that would fix us
we don’t let it
sincerity is cringe now
crying is content
falling in love is dumb
grief in a caption
joy you film before you feel it
we put life on delay
check if it’s worth it first
lose the first second
always the moment after
(“we live in the moment after” keep?)
i don’t think we’re bad
just tired
performing too long
hungry for something not on screen
a talk with no audience
love that’s just ours
a feeling that wasn’t shaped by tiktok
lol
waking up is hard
means not grabbing phone when quiet
means letting feeling finish
means saying what you want out loud
being embarrassed
being wrong
and not dying
being seen
fifth frame
and they don’t look away
we gave up the messy part
which is the good part
love scary
grief means you cared
embarrassment is honesty no armor
loneliness is body saying
you were made for more than this
(too much? too preachy?)
wake up
just feel the weight
your life in your hands
stupid ordinary realness
carry it
just carry it
(end? idk)
About the Writer:
Chris is a 20-year-old writer currently studying statistics at university. He has been writing since the age of seven, after receiving an Oxford dictionary from his father and spending hours building stories from the words he discovered inside it.
After stepping away from writing for a period due to anxiety and AuDHD, he returned to it in 2024, realizing it remained the clearest way for him to express himself. Drawn to imagination, introspection, and reimagining the world around him, Chris writes because it is one of the few things that has always felt entirely his own.
Here’s the link to Chris’s Substack:
Submissions are open for May and June
Guidelines and themes have already been shared in People’s Archive. If you’d like to submit a piece or collaborate with us, please email your work to gorsnewsletter@gmail.com. We look forward to reading you.
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 | A guest post by
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i absolutely love the way this poem was built !! it touches on some very vulnerable parts of our lives that are not brought up much, thank you for writing this christopher !
I loved this read! I loved the fact that it was intentionally ‘unfinished’ and exposed the rawness of writing, alongside this deep seated fear we all seem to carry that results in the subtle yet persistent denial of our humanness. We are conditioned to show up and perform as the best and idealized versions of ourselves to the point where we apologize if we sneeze, snort, need to use the toilet, cry for ‘too long’… it’s endless and it’s pitiful. That we have all these mediums where we are able to express life and we choose to place it through such a narrow and restrictive filter that even more difficult feelings, realities or emotions are often only expressed in the company of ‘what I have learnt’ or ‘how I have grown’ instead of just portraying the process of learning and unlearning. I’m not sure what the main point of this ramble is but I appreciated your piece very much, not only for its message but its expression. Please keep writing!